I Had A Girl

So I got drenched wella in the rain this morning on my way to work. Been cold all day and with night-time came this melancholic feeling. Needless to say this is its result, please objectively critique.


When loneliness my companion be
Days be long with shivering cold
My heart opens and I remember
The warmth of her embrace, her beautiful smile
I rue my luck then, as it rushes,
I had a girl, now I’m lonely stuck.

When attention I duly seek
A one to hold me close and bosom embrace
When friends my antics deride
As girls new, their faces turn
I shrug in abject defeat
I had a girl, and I watched her go.

As couples in loving embrace I watch
Her loving eyes trusting implicit his own
I yearn with a new desire and cringe
‘Twas my greatest undoing that sits me still
Complacent I became and forgot the first rule
I had a girl; I let her go.

So now in the confines of my room
As memories, the walls reveal
I close my eyes, an escape seek
For it dawns a devastating blow
Tis only time I have to muse…, for
I had a girl and I could not her keep.


PS: For the one that got away…


28 thoughts on “I Had A Girl

  1. Been quite a while I read one of your poems. You let it go for your stories. Hope you appeased the poetry gods o

  2. Issokay!!! Just go hug pillow.
    Meanwhile, The cadence (which is the first thing I look for any piece) is just right….if overly overdone in places. For me, I still prefer everyday speech …dts me tho.

    All-in-all, it is a nice piece. I am sure if she reads dis, she will be like “Serves u right SOB”, NO?

    • I feel you sir. And yup, I try to write what everyone can read, understand and play with :).

      I do hope she does too oo. Won’t mind a call outta the blue…

      Thanks for stopping by to read. And for the subtle criticism.

  3. Lol DERIN hmm where do I start. Mr Romantic, I had actually forgotten u̶̲̥̅̊ had this other side cos of †ђξ stories. On †ђξ other hand, I know why she left but *imma keep it to myself* nice poem.

    Ps: either 1. go hug your pillow at night and keep warm.
    2. Be Nice and open so another lady will give u̶̲̥̅̊ a chance 😛
    3. Watch those your ehem and do ehermm (dint say nufing oh) rest ma case heheheh and more. Ping me for more details 😀

  4. Awwww…..I knew u would be a romatic. I like it…..U fused that old English feel to it although one or to did not fit. This was rythmic and I enjoyed it.

  5. This is real good! Sorta stumbled upon it n i aint no poetry head bt i think i might need to change that. Thanks for not confusing me with grammar as other poets do though. I hope for your sake the girl sees this.

    • Me too oo. And that she comes crying back holding my leg and singing a cool Hindi song promising never to leave… :d

      I try to write what I will read, those poets confuse me too with iambs, meter and rhyme. The poems that have touched me the most have been written plainly read Willian Henley’s ‘Invictus’, you’ll learn a new thing with each read, and it’s a simple straightforward poem. That’s what I strive for…

  6. This is nice…
    It has a rhythm that just makes every line sink in…
    You had a girl and you let her go.
    You have learnt your lesson, not so?
    Nice poem. $ß.

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