I Had A Girl

So I got drenched wella in the rain this morning on my way to work. Been cold all day and with night-time came this melancholic feeling. Needless to say this is its result, please objectively critique.

peace

When loneliness my companion be
Days be long with shivering cold
My heart opens and I remember
The warmth of her embrace, her beautiful smile
I rue my luck then, as it rushes,
I had a girl, now I’m lonely stuck.

When attention I duly seek
A one to hold me close and bosom embrace
When friends my antics deride
As girls new, their faces turn
I shrug in abject defeat
I had a girl, and I watched her go.

As couples in loving embrace I watch
Her loving eyes trusting implicit his own
I yearn with a new desire and cringe
‘Twas my greatest undoing that sits me still
Complacent I became and forgot the first rule
I had a girl; I let her go.

So now in the confines of my room
As memories, the walls reveal
I close my eyes, an escape seek
For it dawns a devastating blow
Tis only time I have to muse…, for
I had a girl and I could not her keep.

 

PS: For the one that got away…

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28 thoughts on “I Had A Girl

  1. Been quite a while I read one of your poems. You let it go for your stories. Hope you appeased the poetry gods o

  2. Issokay!!! Just go hug pillow.
    Meanwhile, The cadence (which is the first thing I look for any piece) is just right….if overly overdone in places. For me, I still prefer everyday speech …dts me tho.

    All-in-all, it is a nice piece. I am sure if she reads dis, she will be like “Serves u right SOB”, NO?

    • I feel you sir. And yup, I try to write what everyone can read, understand and play with :).

      I do hope she does too oo. Won’t mind a call outta the blue…

      Thanks for stopping by to read. And for the subtle criticism.

  3. Lol DERIN hmm where do I start. Mr Romantic, I had actually forgotten u̶̲̥̅̊ had this other side cos of †ђξ stories. On †ђξ other hand, I know why she left but *imma keep it to myself* nice poem.

    Ps: either 1. go hug your pillow at night and keep warm.
    2. Be Nice and open so another lady will give u̶̲̥̅̊ a chance 😛
    3. Watch those your ehem and do ehermm (dint say nufing oh) rest ma case heheheh and more. Ping me for more details 😀

  4. Awwww…..I knew u would be a romatic. I like it…..U fused that old English feel to it although one or to did not fit. This was rythmic and I enjoyed it.

  5. This is real good! Sorta stumbled upon it n i aint no poetry head bt i think i might need to change that. Thanks for not confusing me with grammar as other poets do though. I hope for your sake the girl sees this.

    • Me too oo. And that she comes crying back holding my leg and singing a cool Hindi song promising never to leave… :d

      I try to write what I will read, those poets confuse me too with iambs, meter and rhyme. The poems that have touched me the most have been written plainly read Willian Henley’s ‘Invictus’, you’ll learn a new thing with each read, and it’s a simple straightforward poem. That’s what I strive for…

  6. This is nice…
    It has a rhythm that just makes every line sink in…
    You had a girl and you let her go.
    You have learnt your lesson, not so?
    Nice poem. $ß.

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