I was at their office bright and early on Thursday. My team and I got there almost an hour early; we were ushered into the conference room after an initial wait time. The boys set up whilst Witch (yes, my boss royally screwed me on that call) and I, went through the proposal for the umpteenth time. Finally, we decided it was okay and that I would do the talking.
At the stroke of noon, Sonia, Trisha and a host of other mean looking men and women entered the room. We exchanged pleasantries and business cards were shared, Trisha was all professional and mean looking and I thought she was over me before it started, then she winked at me and I was reassured. For a minute, I sunk into reverie.
Ah! You’re wondering if it’s possible eh, believe me, most of the bored people sitting at board meetings are just thinking of their secretary’s arse (no offence). I saw myself and Trisha in the recess having a really steamy private discussion, then Witch nudged me, if only eyes emitted fireballs, thank God Cyclops is a fictitious character. I straightened my suit, allowed the people settle comfortably then started my pitch.
Of course I am not boring you with the details of that business meeting (trade secret), I will however say this, it went well. I had sold myself to get the business and Sonia appreciated my passion; why, I could not say. After the meeting, we shook hands again, they left, and my boys got their gear. Witch was grinning from ear to ear, two hundred mill, jeez, I never realized Sonia was sitting on such a huge ton of cash, I was impressed.
In the car on the way back to the office, I pretended to be too mentally exhausted, yawned and closed my eyes. Witch watched me with disdain seething that she could not chew me before delivering me to Mr Eugene. So I appeared for all intents to be asleep. I added a few snores to piss her off and she hissed intermittently. Like I said earlier, Witch is not a happy lady, and something was clearly wrong with her.
Along the way, just before getting to the office, I dozed off and dreamt of Trisha, not only had our tryst been successful, we were carrying on like lovers, holding hands and all. I enjoyed the dream immensely that I must have moved my hand and touched Witch, her slap on the arm woke me. They say day dreams are harbingers of things; good or bad, at that moment, I didn’t care. I glared at her, ‘What!’
I stared at her for a few seconds then looked out the window. The story between Witch and I was that I asked her out and whilst she was still making yanga like all girls do, I met Imole. In my defence, I gave her seven months, we entered the company at the same time and when the senior staffers started noticing her, she kept posting me. Then I found another and was gone. Then she realized I would have been a keeper. At first she tried to win me back, but steady as a rock, I held my ground. She started hating on me then.
Somehow, we managed to work together without killing each other. We just never related socially and whenever Mr Eugene was up to his machinations he would set me up with her like he did with the Sonia business, just for the fun of it. We arrived at the office and went straight to our desks. I had a ton to do.
It was after work that I realized that I did not have a car. Yes, I called a Mechanic to replace the damaged windscreen, but I haven’t seen my car since. Stupid driver had promised to deliver the car to my office that afternoon, but I forgot to check after the meeting; I had to call a cab. When I got home, still seething after calling the man’s line severally with no response, I saw my car parked in the car park, the key was with the maiguard. I was somewhat happy that the car had been restored but angry the man made me take the cab.
The next day, Mr Eugene called Witch (okay I need to stop calling her that seriously, her name’s Jane) and I, into his office. The lecture lasted almost an hour after which Witch sorry Jane and I kissed and made up, literally (for your minds abi? We both grunted).
After work, I went home and changed. Since we were pulling an all nighter, there was no reason to rush, I had been exercising and getting in top shape since Tuesday. So at 8pm, I got in my car and drove to the hotel somewhere in Lekki. I got there just as Trisha was about making her way up to the room. She smiled at me and held out her right hand, I crossed the lobby in two strides (in my mind) and took her hand. We took the elevator together smiling gleefully like sorority girls.
Argh! I hate getting into the nitty gritty of it all, plausible deniability and all. So I’ll just say this, Trisha and I had a steamy conversation that served as a befitting finale to the discussion we started a week earlier (what were you expecting, a detailed memo of how things went down? Hian!). We paused for air and called for room service, she was hungry, I wanted more food, winks. The doorbell rang and I went to get it. I was unprepared for what happened next.
Standing in the doorway was a stern looking Sonia who appeared to be angry for no apparent reason. I stood there in my boxers, mouth agape staring at her and hoping I could disappear literally. She pushed me aside and went in the room. I wasted no time in closing the door behind her and followed her in. I saw it all going up in flames, my hard-work to get their business (yup, pleasure apart I’m a professional) and my job. This time, the sack would be a lenient punishment. I was petrified with each step I took towards them.
Trisha was smiling as she danced slowly on the bed. I watched in horror as Sonia’s hardened features softened and she slowly peeled off her clothes. No bra or pants, I was aghast, then she made her way to the bed swaying her hips. Blood pumped faster through my veins as I watched her go…
Sonia turned around and asked, ‘well, what are you waiting around for?’
I understood instantly. This was going to be a three-a-side football game. Chei! Emi nikan tan (only me), I thought, this is how to live large. I made my way to the bed taking my time, who’s the boss now?