Emotional Intelligence

Never been scared to write on any subject matter. And I have written some damning articles, yet with this one…, let’s just say I wish I didn’t have to write this. Still, in light of some recent events, here goes…

I have always been amazed at how girls can remember every word you uttered but conveniently forget the one clause you added as a safety net for yourself. So you’re toasting a girl and exchanging likes and dislikes. She’ll like what you like and totally hate what you do not like… package! Like my friend would say, all na format! Case study, let’s say I’m chyking @dehorl now, (oya may all of una comot mind oo, we’re just friends :p) and she’s already feeling the boy and wants to do. So I tell her I’m eccentric and she smiles and says aint we all?

If I didn’t know better like Luther Vandross, I’d think it’s rhetoric, sadly, I’m learning it’s a statement that means well, my(her) eccentricity will supersede yours(mine) though, in every way. So assume, mumu me, I fink the babe don gbadun me dead, unknown to me, she just ended my life. Cause I’d be a dead man walking the streets of Lagos with badt* ilefo, proud that I’m dating a docki* to be, iro nla! #:-s

So what caused all this introspection you may wanna ask, and why suffer through an article that’s basically of no import to you? Bear with me a bit, I’m getting to it. There’s a common consensus amongst the ladies that all guys are dogs and guys have different colourful names and phrases they address the fairer sex by. Think about it though, like I always tell my folks, LISTEN RIGHT.

Let’s say I dated girls A, B and C in OOU. Wait before una start to dey hail me as badt boy, I was the runt where dating was concerned in that school o, ask, they’ll say mi o le to. Girls still refer to me as virgin. πŸ™‚ Before I get totally distracted and veer off completely, so I managed to date these three girls with great difficulty in the school where even pre-degree boys had five girlfriends in four months, I dated just three in four years *whew*

Okay, as I was saying, girl A, I told my number one quirk, I’m a guy who likes a lot of space oo. Don’t crowd me and we’ll be cool. Crowd me and you’ll be dating a brood. She listened and we had a tupsy-turvy relationship, due to our egos, not because of my eccentricity oo. I survived. Then for logical reasons, we had to terminate the relationship, she was graduating and I was still stuck in OOU. Besides I don’t dig long distance relationships, if I told you otherwise, maybe I was high on something 😑
So girl A walked and I watched her go. I did tell her though, that I loved her, funny thing is I still do. I just like moving on forward, so the next mistake awaits, why make the same one twice when there’s billions to be made by each person. So I jumped back into the dating game that I wasn’t really cool at. Enter girl B.

Smart, humble, essentially a software upgrade of girl A, but there was one little snag. I was running the same operating system and the upgraded version ran better on an upgraded o/s. So the relationship was doomed from the get go, I realised a couple of weeks in, but instead of backing out and hurting the girl, I thought, what da heck, a ma rough e jo! We’ll make it work.

Sadly, I ended up doing the things I didn’t wanna do to her. She fell in love and started crowding me and getting all mushy. Lo ba tan, my wolverine made an appearance and I had drifted so far away from her before she realised what was happening, of course she ended it and I just shrugged. Like Celine said in her MISLED track, ‘just a page in my history… one more lover that used to be…’ so I moved on, and that’s when girl C made her cameo.

At the time, I just wanted out of OOU, the thought of the uncertain future lurking ahead filling my head. She came like a sheep, a gentle dove, easy on the eye. So I rehashed my relationship history for her, and promised her I needed my space, and that mushy wushy isn’t really my thang. She agreed and I shoulda just blown her off and gone back to either girl A, or go looking for girl D. I stayed and let’s just say I was taken for a ride. By the time I wrote my finals and left school, I’d been effectively used. 😦

That’s not the story though, the story’s that girl B and C both had essentially the same allegation, yours truly failed to validate them as ladies and show how madly in love he is with them. In my defence, I encouraged them both to be better people and all, but to validate a girl that she’s really a girl… let’s just say I’m making faces right now. If you’re a girl reading this, be sure of who you are oo. Please.

Lately though, I’ve been thinking of putting out again, so I realised my o/s may be a tad outdated for the glossy kinda apps in circulation now, so I calmed and started thinking. It took days and finally, it came to me. Girl A, I shouldn’t have left, I realise now that a little fight by both parties and the long distance woulda worked. We were both in Naija. Girl B was basically insecure, in blackberry speak, that fone dey always crash, so it wasn’t really my fault. I made a tactical mistake at the point of selection and lost a friend :(. Girl C, her main issue was she wanted commitment but as the saying goes, ‘a guy wants loyalty, whilst a girl needs commitment’ sadly for her, I didn’t feel the loyalty so commitment didn’t occur to me.

Three girls, OOU days, and I’ve learnt a valuable lesson, CHANGE, it is the only constant thing. So I’m putting out, ready to be a bit more forthcoming and present. Allowing a girl to crowd my space and maybe commit too. Problem is, now that now I know where I went wrong in the past, the selection process go bad gan. Cause this time around, I musto get emotional intelligence. It’s a tipa tipa sontin…

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9 thoughts on “Emotional Intelligence

  1. Nice write up, thou really you were digressing too much from the main story. So I couldn’t pick at least one lesson from your experiences. The story would have served more as an eye opener not just about a gist about your past relationship.

  2. Loll Daireeen, hmmm I see you oh. You know ur †ђξ fear of being crowded should be conquered but d☺n’t worry I would help in †ђξ selection process as you know iv already started. Lemme leave it at that

    • Chai, Saka don finish me with mouf. 😦 and I pleaded with y’all to not crush me oo. Obviously, hin nor see dat part. Rme* boya na u go dey take care of the wife and raise the children ni? Pesin need plan fun igbeyawo duh. Nor be wetin pesin go do on top say hin want do oo. Jo oo! Hawa mi re?

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