ZAPPHIRINE

This is another piece from said writer. Hope y’all like it…

 

Mind not those haters who say,

“I’d wager that JayJ is gay”,

Slowly they’d taper off,

No worthier than toilet paper no better off,

Like rats down a drain-pipe,they’d scurry off,

“He’s just a charade, he likes to parade, to showboat and to show-off”

Ignore the tirade, sing me a serenade, make them yell their heads off!

We’re playing Russian Roulette, bang! At my turn, the last bullet triggers off!,

Do such stray thoughts as you’d do stray dogs,always shoo them off!

Yesterday was Sagamu‘s o! Today might just be Ikenne‘s day off,

We’ll settle for a Mikano, for these NEPA* lights might soon flicker off,

And of ’cause the noise’ll make LEPA* and the neighbours just shut the f**k up!

Best be reminded to heed not the words of Morenikeji*,

For she might warn,” Duh!,He’s too fat,he’s almost 80kg!”,

“O de kuku fe Baba-‘beji to nbe ni le keji!”

Did her blight catch you in flight?

‘Cause in light of her horse-sense taking flight,

She might take it to another height,

“From default of Trim and Fit”,

“He faults to Grim and Stiff”,

Atimes I might wear an Incredible MoHAWK,

 But never judge my book by it’s cover,

Thou shall not let common sense take cover,

I could as well be a saint,

It’s common know that the Incredible HULK is mere green paint.

 

Now i come into view as a JabulanY,

‘highly favoured by few, least favoured amongst many,

Even Lionel Messi couldn’t score any,

So if my Loins are at Hell’s mercy I won’t touch your fanny, 😀

We’d take our leaf from Love’s paradigm;O’Taio* and Bharmmy*,

No be beef, but I’ll sing better than Taio* and win you a Grammy,

To ba je “ti ija ni”,i’ll be your Pacquiao* or just call me Manny,

as long as you’re my Tijani,* I’ll always be your Dappy*, ;o)

See not these words as a fawn,

Ignore the pun,

And relish the brawn,

Of playing mind-chess with me with no lines drawn,

We’ll munch away on cheese and prawn,

We’ll forget the Ibadan breeze and see pictures of you I’ve drawn,

We forget we’re playing chess and you tell me of the guys you’ve shunned,

We race back to chess and you find much to your chagrin that I’ve won,

You turn green and say,“Even in his ghetto dreams DaGrin couldn’t have won!”

I’ll toothy-smile at you and just yaaaawwwnn,

“If only in me you see that extra pawn”,

“And you decide in my waters you shall hatch your spawn”,

“And gel to me like sprightly frogspawn”‘,

“Even if it’s just chess or tennis on the lawn”,

“Each and every of your battles would easily be won”.

 

Let me into you, open up your defences,

So I needn’t offend you and try to pull down your fences,

You hypnotize me, you befuddle my senses,

I shudder and tense like a virgin that has missed her menses,

In case you don’t know, when I see you, I misuse my tenses…

…smattering and shelling like Mr Bisuga* lecturing on Glycolysis!,

You are the thesis,

The reason I wrote Zynopsis,

Like schnapps, you snap my synapses; apt synopsis,

“OSU boys are bad!”…I’ll make you dismiss that Hypothesis!,

You’re fit not for a mere Yaris,

nor are you for queer taxis,

So I could take a loan, buy you a rare Avensis,

Oh! hear my groan, save me from this endless crisis,

I keep hearing my own moan, my thoughts have adopted ill-vices, :o)

I’ve walked the desert over and I’ve finally found the oasis,

I shall drink of this fountain of life, the fertile waters of Isis,

For this waters usurp even alcoholic syrup, so“Wassup Cirrhosis?”

You’re sweeter than sugar, sugar no fit be saccharin,

Fellowship is sweeter than sex and by that I’m not trying to be saccharine,

If I could liken your splendor to a gem-rock in just one word–“sapphirine”,

Welcome to jam-rock,where we’ll dance to the music of our hearts without tambourines,

If I were God, I’d just veto my decisions,

Not caring whose ox is gored, I care not the implications,

Alas,all I have is just an empty Gourd,

I thirst and I quest for your Love as quench,

Slim waist, full breasts and a pussy with no stench,

Goddamn! You and I in sweet tandem,

Damn me if I don’t steal this femme a diadem,

Damn that hater if he says this is just a stratagem!,

Imma shame all the olofofos  and bad-belles dem!,

Ahoy! hater-man hatin’! All I see iz a zmoove ztrikin’ gem!,

I’ll keep your tears away, I’ll lock them away in a zip-folder,

Keep your fears at bay, I’m lending you a big shoulder,

I’ll promise you fine hay, not just some cheap fodder,

So stay…stick to me like calf to udder,

You can be my very own *Gabrielle Union*,

Even Angel Gabriel has Blessed this union…

NEPA*:-National Electric Power Authority

LEPA*:-Term used to describe a skinny woman in local parlance

Morenikeji*:-Morenike Akinwunmi

O’Taio*:-Segun Tayo Folarin

Bharmmy*:-Ayobami Oduntan

Taio*:-Taio Cruz

Manny Pacquiao*:-Filipino professional boxer and politician, 7 division world champion.

Tijani*:-Adeyemisi Tijani

Dappy*:-Oladapo Maiyegun

Mr Bisuga*:-Arabambi the 1st aka Bisguy.My dear Comical lecturer.:o)

Gabrielle Union*:-Y’all know Gabrielle Union dontcha?!

JayJ™ 2010 ©

by Fhawaz ‘jayj’ Ibn-Abdulmhuiz on Thursday, September 9, 2010 at 12:04pm

 

Disclaimer: this dude paints a graphic foto. so if your sensibility’s assaulted, sorry.

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