Today, I’m continuing with the featured authors I like and read. They are mostly pals and hombres, and this particular one, whose works I’ll be publishing today has a knack to go on and on and on. Decoding his writes is a mountainous task that will make you think twice. He writes in double entendres so reading him affords you the luxury of thinking. you’ll see as you read along. I hope you do like his work, as I do… here goes nothing…


Fraught with heartbreak,

Shorn of high-stakes,

Re-born after all the cheap-stakes,the mistakes,

Gone is the corn that made the bad flake,

I heard Porn was the wont of the singer Drake,

None is the morn I haven’t wished I won new sweepstakes,

For every dawn of each morn birth a slew of aches,

The warning goes “Horn before you overtake!”

Dud horn, my heart gets worn and torn like my Grand-pa’s brakes,

She said I was born a milksop yet she comes back and calls me a milkshake,

Who says worn shall my heart be if I don’t forgive her mistakes?



Lorn love,



For too long,

Taut with odium,

For her love was an opium,

Copius like sodium,

Sedating like valium,

In my book of love she was the exordium,

But too swift was her dismount from the podium,

Bone of my bone,

She knew how to flare my erogenous zones,

Pair became lone,

My pear lost the shape of a cone,

She left the pine-cone for the fir-cone,

…Left the bitter crumbs for the buttered scone.



On the streets of regret I’ve strode,

Where cul-de-sacs never turn into roads,

These anger and angst they corrode!

“Marts art not lasting art again”  I was told,

…My friend fate sometimes blows hot and sometimes cold,

Kismet* deservedly struck after I left Kenny out in the cold,

My heart became ice-cold,

Ice-cold ’cause my love had fled my household,

My eyes told of a dove that had fled its fold,

(Sighs in retrospect),How I thought I had struck gold!

So when the rice gets cold,

And the bread begets mould,

And you begin to ponder “This JayJ sef don dey old!”

“He just dey dull like gizmo wey get bad node!”

“Shey hin machismo don implode?!”

“Abi hin liver don fold?!”

Better know there are unheard tales to be told!



In the stead of my heart is an ice-box,

Come into this icebox and ignite your firewox,

If your ex was a Flock” imma be your Mozilla Firefox“,

Even my flock know I’m no Godzilla”  I’m just a lil’ red fox,

So come be my cheerleader and I’ll be your “REDSOX”

Lemme  be your black Andre Flintoff,

Lemme be your black fast bowler,

Our clothes we’ll fling off,

like we ain’t got time for a cold shower,

Our brains we’ll f**k off,

till we sleep off like we had a hangover,

I’ll water your gardens, tend your flower, be your land-mower,

I’ll be your T-Rex,play with me jo, even if I’m a dinosaur,

I’ll be your Range-Rover, never tire, even if I’m mired in the lack of a spare tyre,

I’ll keep in range, make you see not this rover as a liar,

I’ll be your teacher, make you call me “Jayj my very own friar”



You the fig, I the fir,

We might decide to lig, or we could just go to a fair,

You might not dig ’cause my intentions might not be clear,

I’ll throw a gig, once you tell me my kids you shall bear,

A girlie bundle that’s big, a boy to be my heir,

I’ll never eat pig, I’ll never shave-off my beard, 🙂

I’ll stay off cig, I’ll stay off beer,

As long as you’re here,

Year after year after year,

The steed and his mare, there’ll be no fairer pair,

Come into my lair, cause a stir,

Even where deers wouldn’t dare,

I seek not the sweet moistness of what lies *downstairs*,

Nor do I delight in the twin tenderness that lie *upstairs*,

Hope glimmers slim,but I hope you shall come here,

Rest on this vast,vested chest but pardon the hair,

And I’ll teach you that even if life is sometimes unfair,




Kismet* :The Will of Allah.

ENCRYPTED:-“Without being overtly zactimonious, this zinderella still manages to be zacrosanct. She’s the heart, she’s fuchsia and she’s the firmament. Her venerated highness is the fair maiden that makes my cheeks flush a deep-red upon gaze.” GOODLUCK AS YOU DECRYPT.


JayJ™ 2010 ©

by Fhawaz ‘jayj’ Ibn-Abdulmhuiz on Monday, August 30, 2010 at 1:59pm



2 thoughts on “ZALIENT ZUFFER

Ehs you, yes you! Please don't sneak off na, drop a line, share your thoughts...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s