I realize that a lot of people will be put off reading this after seeing the title. I couldn’t care less, it’s my month and I’ll brashly proclaim it as best anytime of the year. So if you hate yours, well, sorry.
The year started with a myriad of activities. What with the fuel hike again and the resultant strike. PHCN’s outrageous bills and attendant darkness. Inflation and sacrosanct pay *sigh* these pipu really wan kee bois walai!
Now to back up my assertion cause I know lotsa pips be waiting to stone me already, here are a few unique things about the month of February:
1: It’s my birth month, so it gets exalted above all others 😐
2: It is the month of love. Any other month get valentine? (Right and I was born on the eve so y’all wanting gifts, I receive then and don’t give :p)
3: It is the only dynamic month of the year. Yup, no other month can take up a whole day! February grows adds a full day every four years. This year is one of ’em years (A Leap Year)
4: The only month that’s sympathetic to workers and students alike, February will not waste your time unnecessarily. You’ll find that February children are a tad impatient, they always keep to time and hate being stood up.
5: Irrespective of the lies told about sweet November, the weather’s always perfect in February. Harmattan lifts and the heavens open up letting down rain in torrents.
6: February kids are always beautiful. Think I’m lying, check us out. (Although I gotta admit those wen nor fine ehn… 😡 may I nor talk)
Y’all know these and more, so quit berating me jo. And for those already thinking of beating me up, well sowi, y’all haf to indulge me and allow this one pass. At least, it’s me birth month.
However to celebrate my baiday this year, here’s a list of gifts I want :|. All those of you who defaulted last year, it’s time to pay up. New friends have also been suckered, una too musto sanwo. Hey, don’t stop reading oo, I’m sure there’s somefin down there you can afford.
I would like to have received all gifts by the 12th of February, that’s the second sunday. Birthday is 13th and valentine is 14th, both are working days, so all those stingy boys who wee be forming work on the days. Pay up before the day oo I aint joking. 😐
Here’s the list, buh it’s not limited to these, u can also surprise me pleasantly. Not cheap stuff oo, ehen.
1: PSP, a new one costs below N40,000, I’ll love you to blazes for reuniting me and my best girl :d
2: Gucci Shoes, dunno the price buh I want sha :p
3: Wristwatches, this one’s easy. TAG, Rolex, Swatch or any good one will do. I don’t like shiny wristwatches by the way, so do dour, thank you.
4: Books, a junkie reader, anyfin from novels to inspiring books would be accepted! Please DO NOT buy me a get rich quick scam oo! I have little patience for such books.
5: Ipad, the latest one will do thank you very much.
6: HDD, a 500GB or 1TB memory will do. If u don’t know what this is, please go to computer village :d
7: Bicycle, recent hike in fuel prices makes this a practical gift. A good one with large tyres and gears will do.
8: Car, a Toyota Corolla 2004 with full options should do it. (See, I can be modest shey?)
9: Jeep, I’ll have to go with the Mercedes Benz ML500 the new ones ni oo! That mato has crazy effects…
10: Powerbike, no mata wat is said, I’ll still get me one of ’em if y’all punk out. So buy any one with good handling.
11: Samsung P6800 Galaxy Tab 7.7, I prefer this to the Ipad and price is almost same, so…
12: Girlfriend, weird abi? I need 1 ooo, too lazy to go out and toast 1 meself, so ya haf to supply 1 to my yara 😉
13: Vacation, an all expenses paid trip to the bahamas with a vewi hawte model as my guide :d
14: Money, a fat account in switzerland should do the trick! Least pay, $100m ( I humble like dat)
15: Music, chei, ayaf forget this 1 sha… It must come with an ipod oo, CDs are kinda obsolete now, files are the in-thing
16: Jet, if the president can have 11 of ’em beauties, having 1 for me won’t be so bad abi? Na chacha I want sha, and not Cessna 🙂
Uhm, wetin remain again ooo, alright, I’ll let u know before the D-day. Don’t forget, all gifts have to have gotten to me on or before 11:59pm on the 12th February.
Thank you for usual cooperation and for the colour you add to my life. I love you all loads… :d