This Fright Thing

Why do guys get stumped when they see a pretty lady, often desiring to strike conversations with her, but having those only in their minds. Why is it that even the bravest and most eloquent guys who are spontaneous and cool stare, at a loss for words when all they needed to do was say a simple ‘hello’, or ‘hi’ why?

Scientist generally agree that the man child is a reticent being living in his head and interacting with his environment through the thoughts that he had. Most time, curious as to how a thing works, he dismantles such equipment seeking answers from the machine. To the much chagrin of his parents who soon learn to keep their goods away from him.

As he grows, the man child uses just about enough words to interact with everyone around him. And he discovers video games which is a cool intellectual tool (if you are playing games that teach, and not just soccer) and his reclusion from talking goes deeper still. Some boys however did not go that way because they were made to talk from the get go in their families, yet even these ones get tongue-tied and exhibit the cardinal boy-guy-man problem: staring at a loss for words at a girl-lady-woman they would rather have a meaningful conversation with.

So, as talking with boys is a necessary annoyance, growing so bad that they would not ask directions to places they didn’t know but would rather go with their gut and believe they wouldn’t get lost, but arrive at their destination safely and on time. Girls were made of a different material.

As toddlers, they cried the loudest, unafraid to point out what they wanted, they spoke their minds and sulked to get an apology whenever they were offended, where a boy would just withdraw. Girls used speech massively and having a bevy in your family growing up meant too much noise, especially if you as a boy were the private type. Emotionally, they were extravagant where the boy used action only to show his love, they also involve words, constantly sounding reminders, that it reeks of sycophancy, but the girls never let up.

Years passed and the tables turned! Suddenly, the guys are left with all the talking and the girls well, now they want to listen. Problem is, that’s just what they do. Listen and walk away.

So we arrive at the crux of today’s discourse, why is it that guys are eternally scared of talking to girls? Is it just a fear of rejection thing, or does it run deeper? I mean we were camped together for twenty-one (21) whole days and some boys still never met a new girl, hiding only in the company of their friends from before the camping exercise, and I have to wonder, what is that about?

Having given it much thought, and asked guys questions severally, I’ve come to understand this; even the guys who seems to have all the girlfriends and who most boys envy lives in eternal dread of accosting a new girl on the road by way of pick-up lines and such. I was crushed, so exactly how do guys get out of this situation and freely talk to the opposite sex, who research has shown crave not only conversations, but companiodnships of their opposite sex (meaning guys).

Then I remembered the words of the scriptures that read ‘out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks’ and light dawned. We had been going at it all wrong, and that was our first cardinal sin as guys. Remember, the woman was created as a help-meet for the man. And man is to be the head of that woman.

Today however, we strive to dominate all the females in our immediate environment and beyond. Tearing them down and debasing them in a bid to establish our own dominance and verify the claim ‘it’s a man’s world’. That, dear friends is a jaundiced and myopic thought pattern that has brought us guys here.

Remember, out of the abundance of the heart… so the next time you see a fine lady walking along the road and you start thinking, but the words seem slow in forming and it seems as though your faculties went on a vacation to hawaii, re-examine your intentions for that lady. For if they are wholesome, rejection will mean nothing to you, your pride will be intact even when she rejects you (politely or not) and you will be able to raise your head high and walk away, to try another day.

But if your intentions are not so whole, then, I do not have help for you, so you are OYO (on your own) as the local parlance goes. Understand this as we battle the reasons why we can’t seem to say the right and funny words when the girls are there that, for every man, there’s a woman. And it is that woman, and her alone that the man will have the confidence of expression without any inhibition.

Our world being flawed, tells us otherwise, so we change girlfriends and boyfriends as we change shoes, each relationship lasting shorter and shorter as we grow. That wasn’t the original design. Therefore, guys, look for that one woman who not only causes stirrings, but who you know in your gut has the potential to complete you. Go after her, forsake the rest, and focus on her. Even if eventually she doesn’t come round, you will find that you are really close to destiny (your own spouse) as it will practically knock you out.

Here’s a famous last line girls love, ‘talk is cheap, it’s the doing, that’s really hard’ so to get talking to a girl, examine your heart and when it’s true and wholesome, launch out and hope to fly… I guaranty, you’ll develop wings and soar…

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