The Mourinho Persona

‘My boyfriend left me…’ ‘I got dumped mehn, babe just left my ass stewing!’ These are some of the phrases I’ve had to endure in the last few weeks. The alarming ones are, ‘dunno, I think it’s over.’ ‘I’m not the feeling the relationship again jor, gotta get out!’

The world over, being single is the time when people go through stuff/things the most. Relationships suffer, men and women constantly short-change themselves in order to be accepted by their partners. It appears as though singles do not have a mind of their own, so they bend to the will of the people they are in relationship with.

As the year draws to a close, and the festive mood heightens; there’s been lots of coups on how to suspend relationships and reactivate them after the season has passed. As a student of philosophy and life, I’ve wondered why this things are so. After a while, I came up with a cute concept of naming people with football managers names as I try to expound their personalities vis-a-vis their relationship types.

So I’m starting off with the special one himself, Jose Mourinho. Please note, that this is note a diatribe against the man or any other subsequent manager whose name will be used in the series, it’s just a testament of the work these men have done and their achievements so far… So here goes nothing. :d

Being in a relationship with a Mourinho persona is the best thing in the world. These people, male and female are detailed, meticulous, and they’re always present at every given time in the relationship, so the other half doesn’t have to wonder what they’re doing or why. They have a plan and stick to it.

When they come into a person’s life, irrespective of what the person’s previous achievements are, they do not allow the person rest until they have taken him/her to the next logical level of his/her life. Mourinho personas are driven halves and will not linger in a stagnant relationship.

Constantly looking for challenge, they get bored if things tend to go easily and their other half decides to submit his/her will to them. They’re ruthless emotionally and so it’s often scarce for them to display emotions. This enables them focus on what needs doing and the pursuit of their goals.

Mourinho personas are great lovers, in that they take you from relative obscurity and announce you to the world. They would literally move the world for you. But like money, they don’t like belonging to any particular person, so they spread and seek challenge every time.

When in relationship with this persona types, a person experiences the very best of times in the relationship. But as calculated as the football manager himself is, they’re performance oriented. Succeed and they might stay (success doesn’t guarantee they’ll be there for long), fail and they’ll do their darndest to get u on track, and then leave.

As cool as the people with this persona are, they always leave. And irrespective of what their partner does, they are always looking ahead to the next challenge/relationship. For them, it’s more about the fun and the challenge over and above your emotions. So be warned…

PS: Will do for other managers too… :d


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