Dear Diary

I woke up today like any other day, unsure of what I would be doing with myself during the day. The last few weeks had been blurry, I really didn’t get to do much. Now as uncertainty crept into my waking moments, I always awoke with a sense of trepidation. This morning was no different.

Lazily and grudgingly I got out of bed, wondering what the fuzz about life really is, at eighteen and after two years at home waiting for admission into a higher institution, all seemed bleak. My best friends had all been gone for at least a year, and I was still home chasing all the secondary school girls! Life was at it meaningless low.

Around ten am, I finally wandered into the kitchen, mum would have gone to work by now I’m sure, so I snuck out of my room and wandered into the kitchen! And then it happened.

Dare! Dare!! It was mum’s unmistakable voice, I froze in place. A billion thoughts ran through my mind, chiefest of which was, why wasn’t mum at work? It took all my will, to raise my left leg in a bid to stealthily escape back into my room. Just as my toe touched the floor again, she called out again.

Dare! Get yourself to this living room right this moment! I ventured into the living room like a mouse venturing into a cat’s lair! Taking each step as though it would be the last, and becoming defiant with each successful step. Everyone was seated, mum, my older siblings Tito and Ayo and my uncle who I’d come to look up to as my father figure. Because according to society, I am a fatherless boy, but I had a thing against labels, it’s also why my clothes are drab like my sister likes to point out.

Anyway, I enter into the living room, and came to a halt dead centre. I had been dreading this moment for weeks, and now, it had befallen me. I stood transfixed. Afraid to speak.

Mum pursed her lips and studied me. She had become somewhat impervious to my recklessness and rebellion, still, I could see she was touched by how low I had sunk since it became obvious I wasn’t going to Ife again. See for me, there’s only one school in Nigeria, and that school’s the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ife. So my first and only choices in JAMB had twice been that school.

Now, in abject depression, and refusing to socialize with my own family,I needed desperate help: mum as always had decided to run interference and had declared an intervention for me! I waited to hear what their decision would be, and where I was to be consigned to. She wasted no time.

Dare, exactly how long are you going to live like this? Tito puckered her face, Ayo looked away. Mum had worry written all over her face, the only person whose face remained straight was uncle Akin. He just sat there unmoved.

Well, she started, I’ve spoken extensively with uncle Akin and he liaised with his friend who is a professor and they’ve gotten an opening for you… My face lit up, my heart beat again, and I swear, I would have danced, if I didn’t think it was a pyrrhic victory.

Then she dropped the bomber, … in the Ogun Utate University!!!!!! My groan was audible enough for all to hear, but they chose to ignore it. Congratulations were offered and I was asked to pack a bag, I leave tomorrow for school, in the middle of nowhere! I was crushed beyond words.

As I stood transfixed there watching the smiles on my older siblings faces, I thought to myself; Tito’s studying law at Unilag, the only school for her, and she’s very proud of it. Ayo is a med student at the prestigious UI (university of Ibadan), he also was quite happy at that feat! Now it seemed the fates had conspired against me. There’s no way I am accepting this offer…

Or so I thought…

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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